Friday, May 02, 2008

Deep breath!

I’m taking a deep breath this weekend. A very, very deep breath. I am doing something that is insanely reckless and yet rather sedentary and boring. It involves Amtrak, a wicked fun yet really kind of silly excuse for the trip, and a long period of time during which I can do nothing but stare out the window at moving scenery, think, listen to my iPod, and knit.

No laptop. No “must read, important!” stuff. No portable keyboard for the Treo (which is how I usually cheat on ‘no laptop’ outings). No email. No blog reading or writing. Apart from catching the trains on time (which do have a rather no-nonsense start time) (well, THEY can be late - the riders, not so much), no to-do list.

Hopefully, I can get a system reboot. I’ve been feeling very old lately, which is ridiculous because hello, I’m only forty. Not forty-eleven, which is how I feel. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired, and flustered, and frantic, and freaking out because this or that or the other thing isn’t going on schedule OH MY GAWD, somebody dial 911, we are NOT on SCHEDULE…!

I think the Universe is trying to say something to me. I really do. That storm-feeling is still there; a feeling of unresolved Something is just laid on me thicker than ants on a piece of Kettlecorn. Did you know ants love that stuff? Neither did I, until one of the Denizens stashed some under the sofa and the next morning I had an Indiana Jones moment: “…why does the floor move…?”

ANYWAY. Hopefully the forced idleness of the train will settle me down enough to listen.

It’s hard to listen when you’re screaming.

I’ll see y’all Monday-ish. If I can find the camera, I’ll bring pictures of the silly excuse!

9 comments:

Kris said...

Have fun Tama - I am soooo jealous. You deserve it.

Lydee said...

enjoy, look forward to hearing about it!

Steph B said...

Have a great time. Sometimes being semi-vegetative is a wonderful thing. Hope you come back relaxed and refreshed.

Jeanne said...

Have fun and enjoy the journey! Just to let you know... that feeling of impending doom? I feel it too, and you can blame it on the planet Saturn. It's changing direction. According to the horoscope site I frequent, Saturn "made a station", turned forward at 2 degrees of Virgo Friday night, remains in direct motion until December 31, 2008, then goes retrograde.

All Saturn themes (a long list including fear and stress, time, contractions and restrictions, and chronic conditions (medical or otherwise) are highlighted over the weekend."

So take heart. It's just the Universe changing Her panties. It'll pass. :-)

Patty said...

Have a fun, relaxing time! We look forward to hearing about it with bated breath...

Science PhD Mom said...

It's a great weekend for it. Just one of those, well I had planned to do X-Y-Z, but today just doesn't permit that for whatever, 'there's this feeling' reason. You are wise to just take a deep breath and take a headspace moment to listen to what God has to say. I hope you find a good compass point for, "what now?"

21stCenturyMom said...

I'm 40 thirteen and I feel pretty good but I'm not chasing 4 kids around.

I hope you had a great time!

terena said...

oh dear. I hope I'm not part of the problem. Because the one thing you need to remember about a small press is that WE make the rules (you and I), so if we miss our "dead-line" (note the quotation marks) we can just shrug our shoulders and make another best effort. The book will be ready when it's ready and not a moment before. (Um... but that doesn't mean you can stay on Amtrack without your laptop forever. Sorry).

Michael said...

I just turned forty-eleven two days ago!