Friday, September 22, 2006

The Teeth of Chaos

Welcome to Friday! The day when you sit back and say, “What the @*^& just happened, here?!”

Behold! My desk at 1:30 this afternoon:

Holy Whadda Mess, Batman!

What’s really awful about this picture is that I had, in fact, been cleaning for a considerable chunk of time before this was snapped. I didn’t think to take a ‘before’ picture of the whole office. Suffice to say that about 75% of what is now on my desk used to be on the floor in the office. Along with pillows, bedding, yarn in and out of boxes, bags of, um, stuff and a rather impressive collection of cords, string, crayons, loose buttons and construction paper. Also, the office closet has been tidied up. It was a hard-hat zone in there. Now it’s…well. Mostly safe.

The trash can? Full. The recycling bin? Full. This? Is all the stuff that required I do something more than just toss it in one or the other.

The problem with this particular pile is that there isn’t a whole lot of ‘easy’ in it. A few pens that just need to be stuck in the revolving thingee. And the mousepad, that’s easy. But everything else on there needs to be paid, mailed away to someone, or otherwise ‘handled.’

Fortunately, I am no rookie when it comes to dealing with Chaos. I am a true daughter of Chaos. I was born unto Chaos, and in Chaos I dwell.

I know from Chaos, my brethren. I fear it not one whit.

I know just what to do.

Chaos wants you to think you have no control. Chaos wants you to just give up and let it take over. Chaos is everywhere. From Buckingham Palace to my humble Den, all human habitations are potential lairs for Chaos to take over. It takes advantage of any and all opportunities to move in and take control.

Got kids? A job? Relatives? Friends? Cable television? Anything that distracts you from Constant Vigilance is a friend unto Chaos, eating holes into your armor that permit Chaos to take over.

Like a dermatophyte.

Fortunately, it is fairly easy to overcome. Even if you think you’ve got the Worst Case Ever, you can overcome it the same way I overcame my wee little desk issues.

Just take it One. Bite. At. A. Time.

You will have heard this before, but handle each thing only one (1) time – and then? It’s out of your life. So don’t…pay the bill and then set the paper back on your desk. Pay it, and either file or shred. Don’t flip through the magazine and then set it back down. Read, and recycle or file.

Don’t worry about how much there is overall, don’t beat yourself up for having got in the situation in the first place or fret about how long it will take and how you just really don’t have the time and hey – wasn’t that special on tonight, you know, the one that has nothing to do with getting all this crap out of your life?!

Just take one thing at a time and handle it. Get it gone. Amazingly…it works!!

Behold! Half an hour later…

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Now that’s how it oughta be.

Now, I can get on with my life. I’m on vacation, by the way, since 11:30 this morning. This is ‘my’ weekend, and I am going to be spending it cruising through boutiques, knitting, and otherwise goofing off.

And now that my desk is clean, I can do it without that nagging feeling that I forgot to pay a bill or that my house is ‘filthy’.


A. Klemmer said...

Do you make desk calls, oh Doctor of Chaos?

Anonymous said...

Hi! I know this is a little random, but I was wondering if you decided to do the Debbie Bliss sweater you blogged about in july??? From the 'Baby Knits' book (beaded fair isle cardigan)? I was thinking of making this sweater & did a search on google to see if anyone had knitted it, were the only one! So I was just wondering how it turned out? I looked through your archives in hopes of a rave review, but I wonder if you decided not to knit it?