Thursday, April 19, 2007

P.S.: Thanks

I’ve been running around taking care of administrivia today.

So I’ve been, uh, praying an awful lot today. Mostly like this: “Oh, for GOD’S SAKE!”

Not to mention the occasional, “GOD BLESS AMERICA!” and possibly the sporadic “Dear God, why? Why?! WHY?!?!”

By the end of the day I was getting very tired, and very disorganized. In one of the most shocking developments of my entire life, I have somehow become a ‘morning person’.

I know.

I don’t know what to make of this either.

I used to absolutely be a night owl. Life began at about 4:30 in the afternoon and ended shortly before dawn. But at some point after Eldest arrived, I became one of those people who like to watch the sun rise, and found that I had energy first thing in the morning and then…slowly but surely…lost all but the most basic will to live by 4:30 in the afternoon.

The first cup of coffee in the morning is not nearly as vital to me at the 4:00 pick-me-up one. The first cup is spiritually satisfying. The 4:00 one is medically necessary.

So at 9:00 this morning I was busily calling contractors and organizing all the stuff that used to be in the built-in upstairs, and putting the finishing brushstrokes on the budget. Happy-busy-happy-busy.

By 3:30, I was fading fast and starting to yell, “CHRISTOPHER COLUMUBUS!!” about everything from sticky keyboards to having no blue pens (black pens, yellow pens, pink princess pens, NO BLUE ONES?! ARGH!!!!!) to my doctor being on {gasp! shock! horror!} vacation until next week. I mean! How dare the man go on vacation! I want to talk to him right now, mister! about Things. (Yeah, actually, DysdHousewife, you hit one of my major concerns in life right now: Mr. Vacation Pants prescribed a level of OTC drugs that I’m not comfortable with – I’m taking 1300 mg of Tylenol every six to eight hours, I’m getting a lot of the ‘unfun’ side effects and darn it, it ain’t workin’! I want to try something else now please, thank you).

I was fading so fast that 4:00 (which was when I meant to pickup the Denizens) (I have only one more day of paid-for childcare!) (aaaaaah!!!) came and went and I found myself saying morning-like things such as, “Just five more minutes…and also I wanted to make cookies…wait, or was that bread…?”

4:00 in the afternoon is not the optimum time to be starting a bread-baking experience. Rule of thumb is, it will take about three hours start to finish. So 4:00? Eh, not exactly ‘out of the question’ but definitely into ‘you will be dealing with this right in the middle of the Evening Madness’ realms.

Undaunted (and possibly temporarily insane), I started making bread.

Meanwhile, possibly due to the power of suggestion, my jaw has been throbbing like hot-holy-heck today. I don’t want to eat. I also don’t want to drink. I had half a gorgeous steak left over for lunch, and I couldn’t face it. Eh. How about some nice soup…I was starting to fret about how I’d feel by next Friday, the earliest appointment available to get this thing fixed.

Oh well, though. Whaddya gonna do? It isn’t like there are a whole lot of (devilishly handsome or otherwise) endodontists in town. It isn’t like a supermarket, you know, you don’t just say, “Oh my, no milk today? I’ll just dash off to any one of the fifteen other choices available to me!”

So really, it is what it is. No sense whining or worrying about it. One foot in front of the other, I said, and just be grateful you have all the blessings you have. Chill. Don’t worry, be happy. And also, get all that crap off the floor and back in the built-in.

So I carried on dealing with everything from getting a new screen on my laptop (I’m mobile once more! I’m so happy! Yay, Dell!!) to calling insurance companies about their rates and contractors about their licenses.

Finally, I made the last call. That’s it for today, I said grouchily. I’m out of here. Stupid what-nots and also I’m very tired of all this and besides…

Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?

Yes. I still have my melodramatic streak. And if I were to ever actually believe that $DEITY had indeed abandoned me, it would probably be at 4:30 in the afternoon on a work day.

So just as I’m getting up to pick up the Denizens, my email !boinged!.

Can we help this friend?, my husband asked. So I hesitated long enough to dig into some cash I was hoarding up for a tech-toy I don’t really need (but kinda really want) to send over to the Cause.

Just as I was sending it, the phone rang and it was the hotel I had put a friend in for the night (I don’t reward-point-monger for nothing, people! If I can’t go, darn it, I want a friend to!). Though I had already done it, they wanted signed authorization. *sigh* OK. So I faxed and signed and sent and called and then they put her into the room. But I’m glad I was here for the call, which I only was because of this other friend needing a little help to get by.

Because it would have severely sucked for them to demand payment from her because they couldn’t reach me. The market price of the room is…kinda ludicrous, really.

So it’s all good. Glad I got delayed OH FOR CARP’S SAKE, the phone AGAIN?!?!

Dentist. How about tomorrow instead of next week?

Tomorrow is better. Much better. Tomorrow, we still have childcare available – so if mommy is passed out in drug-induced happy-place all afternoon, this is fine. And also, no Denizens will be tearing up the nice man’s waiting room. Which they otherwise would definitely be doing. Loudly.

As I hung up the phone, having gone from ‘on the early side’ to ‘almost late’, I realized that I had been about to walk out the door leaving two loaves of bread burning in the oven.

I just had to sit back and laugh. Right after, you know, I took the bread out of the oven.

$DEITY just always has my back, you know it? Especially in the hours when I’m furthest away, least aware of it, not paying attention, or otherwise feeling like nobody AND I MEAN NOBODY gives a Flying Fudgesicle (you don’t believe they fly? you haven’t spent any time in the Den, have you…) about me or anything about me.

First, I’m given easy opportunities to help friends and sometimes even complete strangers. I’m put in the right place at the right time with the right resources – it makes me so happy to have that ability. So many people have been there for me, it feels so great to finally be on the other side, able to give back a little of what I’ve gotten.

And then, I’m given a backhanded gift in the form of getting my surgery seven days sooner than otherwise planned.

Plus also, by the way, P.S. – you left the bread in the oven.

I often envision $DEITY as a kind of…tough-talking parent. Yeah, yeah, OK, so here’s this and that don’t forget blah and for My sake will you PLEASE stop being such a twit {SMACK!} upside the head and oh by the way you left the curling iron on. P.S.: I love you.

But, $DEITY! I want and I need and I feel and what and why and how !ARGH! and name-in-vain a few times…

…and P.S….

Thanks. For, you know, everything.


Anonymous said...

My husband truly believes in 'what goes around, comes around'.
Not immediately, but eventually (it keeps him sane while dealing with real &%*$holes at work).
I think you got it in a good way today.
Good luck!

Very Herodotus said...

I believe you are your own $DEITY. I think you should take a little more credit.

Amy Lane said...

Yeah...she definitely does have our backs... in her whimsical, whopsical, whamsical way...