Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Let me hear you say “…eh…”

Zzzzzzzzzz *snort!* Wha? What were we talking about?

We had houseguests who are going to try to make it to Portland today. That’s roughly 650 miles from here. They wanted to get up at 4:30. We wanted to get an early start on the day because we have errands to run over lunch. And the errands are going to take a while because we’ve got to go to the Dreaded Mall, the week before Christmas, because…well…uh…

People. I forgot to buy Christmas presents for Boo Bug. Go ahead, ask me how I managed to do that. Ask me how I managed to forget this adorable creature when indulging in the annual budget-buster ho-ho-ho jingle ka-ching! experience:

My little Boo Bug

Because! Her birthday was two weeks ago! So I went online on Black Friday, tappity-tappity, and I bought all kinds of presents! I made a list and checked it twice and forgot that she was “supposed” to get extra because DUH! HELLO!! Birthday + Christmas!!!!!

The kid has no idea how lucky she is. She was supposed to be born on Christmas Eve. Planned c-section and all that. But instead, she tried to arrive on a ferry halfway between San Francisco and Larkspur three weeks early. Crazy kid. But seriously, if she were born on Christmas Eve, she probably really would get stiffed on the birthday presents, you know?

Amazingly, the present-deficit didn’t occur to me when we wrapped her birthday presents. It didn’t hit me until we were sneaking around wrapping the Christmas presents. This and that for Eldest, this and that for Danger Mouse, this and that for Captain Adventure, thi-…uh, where are the this and that for Boo Bug?!


So getting up at 4:30 seemed like such a good idea…last night. Perhaps even a Just Punishment for my poor parenting skills. But this morning? Eh, not so much. We did it! Oh yes we did!! Got ourselves out of that nice, warm bed and downstairs to shake our poor guests so they could start their umpteen hour drive in a timely fashion, and got ourselves working right away, billing the old hours before the sun had wandered into the sky.

But we were gruuuuuumpy. We stood next to the coffee maker doing our version of bickering. (HE STARTED IT!!!!)

“Is the coffee going to be dark enough?”
“Yes.” {pause}
“Are you sure? Because it doesn’t look all that dark. It looks kind of weak.”
“I’m sure.” {pause}
“I’m just saying it doesn’t look that dark from over here.”
“So turn the light off. Then it’ll look darker.”
“…heh…” {silence while we stare at the pot, willing the coffee to brew faster}

I’ve got my annual Christmas Cold coming on, with the sniffly nose, sore throat and cough-upon-laughing. This is when I learn that I am way too easily amused, because I laugh approximately sixteen bazillion times per day, which now means that I cough approximately forty-eight bazillion times per day.

My sore throat is therefore rapidly upgrading from a mere sore throat to a Sore Throat of the Gods. Level 14 Sore Throat. This sore throat could take on an orc barehanded and send it whimpering home to Momma, people.

Oy vey.

The good news is, I think I got it from the children. Which means that they should be done coughing and sniffling by Christmas, and ready to get out of bed at 1:52 a.m. to see if Santa came yet. “MOMMY! DADDY! LOOKIT!!!!!!” “Can I eat this NOW?!” “Can we watch this video NOW?!” MOMMY DADDY MOMMY DADDY GET UP GET UP GET UP!!!

Fortunately, they are extra adorable when thoroughly delighted, which prevents me from actually stuffing any of them in the trunk of the car until they turn 18 and I can lock them out of the house for good.

Nature knows that we would ordinarily kill and eat something that woke us up at 1:52 in the morning with loud shrieks and unexpected !WHUMP! noises. So Nature made young children particularly adorable under these circumstances, thus ensuring that parents who would otherwise be off heating a skillet instead watch their offspring through red, loving eyes cooing, “Awwww, look how excited Junior is!”.

Good job, Nature.


RM Kahn said...

My 2 brothers and I were not allowed to awaken the parents until the sun was officially over the yardarm. Under penalty of having to wait an additional hour if we did. So of course we awakened before sunrise and patiently (insert noisely) awaited for the sun to peek from the steel gray winter clouds. But then we had to wait at the top of the stairs for Dad to go downstairs, get the coffee started, then turn the tree lights on and come back up with coffee for Mom. Gods, is it any wonder I am the most impatient person on the planet....

21st Century Mom said...

As a person who has a birthday just after Christmas I feel boo-bug's future pain. No one wants to deal with 2 gift giving events within 2 weeks of each other - no one. *sniff sniff*.

Airborn - Drink up!