From (The Customer Is) Not Always Right comes this gem: Oooh, So That’s What Marriage Is For:
(A guy has been leaning over the counter trying to chat me up while I rang up his purchases. Finally, he notices the rings on my finger.)
Customer: “Oh, you’re married?”
Customer: “Don’t you find that puts guys off?”
Ahem. You might think this is one of those rare and strange occurrences. Alas…not so much. I have had similar things said to me dozens of times - most frequently when I was performing.
I had a guy make a nuisance of himself for nearly twenty minutes as I was packing up after a performance at a hotel, then try to push his room key on me. When I told him my husband was expecting me home soon, HINT HINT, he said, “Oh. You mean, that’s actually a wedding ring?! Don’t you think that’s leading guys on, wearing that?”
Then there was the eager young lad who, when I held up the left hand and shoved my wedding ring in his face [HINT-HINT-HINT!], responded with, “Oh. So you’re one of those ‘MARRIED-married’ types?”
Yeah, as opposed to the merely married ones who are still, you know, available.
My wedding ring being a simple gold band, I’ve also gotten a ton of the ‘oh, I thought that was just, you know, a deterrent!’ lines.
Soooooooo…you thought I was wearing a fake wedding ring to keep the wolves at bay…so naturally, you had to rush right over and make an ass of yourself?!
Gentlemen Who Do This: Why? Is it just eternal optimism, here? Or is it that you actually do live on another planet, in which no female is ever married-married and your devastating charm and good looks can overcome all obstacles…like another man being the other half of her Perfect Whole™, the father of her children and her soul’s chosen mate?
Oh well. I guess there are some mysteries we are just not meant to understand.
Otherwise, someone would have long ago explained things like the hot dog / hot dog bun packaging conundrum and why we find it so hard to drink enough plain old water every day.
My favourite toy
3 weeks ago