Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Another proof people are spying on me…

From (The Customer Is) Not Always Right comes this gem: Oooh, So That’s What Marriage Is For:

(A guy has been leaning over the counter trying to chat me up while I rang up his purchases. Finally, he notices the rings on my finger.)

Customer: “Oh, you’re married?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer: “Don’t you find that puts guys off?”

Ahem. You might think this is one of those rare and strange occurrences. Alas…not so much. I have had similar things said to me dozens of times - most frequently when I was performing.

I had a guy make a nuisance of himself for nearly twenty minutes as I was packing up after a performance at a hotel, then try to push his room key on me. When I told him my husband was expecting me home soon, HINT HINT, he said, “Oh. You mean, that’s actually a wedding ring?! Don’t you think that’s leading guys on, wearing that?”

{blink, blink}

Then there was the eager young lad who, when I held up the left hand and shoved my wedding ring in his face [HINT-HINT-HINT!], responded with, “Oh. So you’re one of those ‘MARRIED-married’ types?”

Yeah, as opposed to the merely married ones who are still, you know, available.

My wedding ring being a simple gold band, I’ve also gotten a ton of the ‘oh, I thought that was just, you know, a deterrent!’ lines.

Soooooooo…you thought I was wearing a fake wedding ring to keep the wolves at bay…so naturally, you had to rush right over and make an ass of yourself?!


Gentlemen Who Do This: Why? Is it just eternal optimism, here? Or is it that you actually do live on another planet, in which no female is ever married-married and your devastating charm and good looks can overcome all obstacles…like another man being the other half of her Perfect Whole™, the father of her children and her soul’s chosen mate?

Oh well. I guess there are some mysteries we are just not meant to understand.

Otherwise, someone would have long ago explained things like the hot dog / hot dog bun packaging conundrum and why we find it so hard to drink enough plain old water every day.


Fibra Artysta said...

A friend of mine told me a story about how a guy kept hitting on her at her mother's funeral. A FUNERAL. She said they were standing in front of the casket and the guy just wouldn't let up, kept flirting and whatnot.

She wasn't married but how tacky can you get?!?

Some men are just really clueless and then they wonder why they are still single!

Penny said...

Have to laugh, as a single mom who sometimes goes to bars and really, really is just into having a drink and not the hassle. I've got this god-awful ugly looking fake diamond ring that I wear as a deterrent. Funny thing is? it really works pretty well. Guess the cheap-o plastic looking rock is a better deterrent than a plain gold band?

Lyssa said...

My wedding ring is a tattoo. Seems that folks find it pretty I suppose a little time with a sharpie and you could work that.

21stCenturyMom said...

I know it's really annoying but try having it stop happening. Also annoying. So smirk and enjoy while you can.

Anonymous said...

You must be giving off the “I’m married, but swing” vibe. LOL!
I’m totally kidding. Men are clueless.
Some guy hit on me when I was 8 months pregnant (and wearing my wedding ring.) …ew…
Most of the time I try to take things as a compliment.

PipneyJane said...

someone would have long ago explained things like the hot dog / hot dog bun packaging conundrum

What is the hot dog/hot dog bun packaging conundrum?

- Pam

Anonymous said...

No way. Amazing how completely oblivious some folks can be. Weird.

Lydee said...

nope, never had that problem, but seeing that I spent the best of my 20's pregnant, it's understandable. also, traveling with kids is a true deterrant, as is what I do most of the time. could be where I live, it's not much of a swinging community. thank goodness!

it's an interesting observation on wedding rings and the type worn=the reactions received. could be a study done.