Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Newsflash: Mother Tired! Film at 11!!

Newsflash: Mother Tired! Film at 11!!

OK, so, maybe this is not really news. I think I have been tired for nine solid years now – it’s just varying degrees of tired. I have more ways to describe my tired than Eskimos have words for snow. I am not above hijacking words that belong to other things to describe my tired. Like, say, ‘pink’. Or ‘excruciating’. Or ‘indifferent’.

Yes. I am indifferent tired, thank you for asking.

The tired has almost nothing to do with sleep or lack thereof, although I am extremely very much not alone in the fact that I have learned to consider six hours “plenty”.

Today, I am tired because I hate being Project Manager.

I woke up this morning thinking, I really need to put together a formal plan for the remodeling project.

Immediately, all rested-ness was sucked out of my body and I became…tired.

But I know that if (and it’s a pretty big ‘if’, thank you very much) this project is to happen at all, it will be because I have put on my big girl panties and gotten it done.

Edison once said that genius was 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. I think just about everything in life is that way. It’s one thing to get all excited about the concept of doing this big remodeling project, but quite another to actually get it done.

This is kind of like playing a game of soccer. You can’t just get all excited about playing, give the ball one good swift kick and then stand around waiting for it to deliver itself to the goal. You’ve got to stay with it, drive it through the opposition, defeat friction and gravity, keep it moving and ultimately thrust it into the goal.

It’s a lot of work, a lot of sweat coming from a single moment of “You know what’d be cool?!”

I got really sick of project management back when I did it for I got infinitely tired of staying on top of all things, all the time. It’s the kind of work what just never relents, not ever. I had task lists for my task lists, and there was never an end to it – before any project ended, another was slipped onto the plate.

It really was shoveling the snow during the blizzard. You had no time to stand back and congratulate yourself on a job well done, no period of rest, usually not even a party to celebrate the team having gotten through it in one piece.

I tell myself this time will be different. This time, it’s personal. This time, it’s for us. And it’s one project, with a beginning, middle, end and then a party to prove it’s over.

I take a piece of paper.

And I write, “Den Remodel – 2007” on it.

And then I write, “1. Call architect, finalize contract.”

And then…I need a nap.

Because I am tired.

Very much completely and utterly tired


21stCenturyMom said...

I just had my bathroom remodeled. Just 49 square feet. I was definitely in PM mode and then I had to be out of town for a couple days of work and things didn't get done properly and now I want to rip someone's head off about it but I can't. It's done. It looks good but it isn't EXACTLY what I wanted. Being there and flexibility are key. On the other side you get something that looks great, though. Totally worth it.

Amy Lane said...

You have had such a tremendous couple of months! I'd be tired too! (But then, I relegated project management to Mate, and he did such a good job at it, we've managed to cram 6 people into one bathroom for 7 months now, and he has forgotten we've ever had a bathtub. Maybe I need to put my big girl panties on, except I'm the clumsier half of a girl-duo that once managed to drill it's own nose. There's a reason I left it to Mate.)

Moorecat said...

"Very much completely and utterly tired…"

Have you been watching too much "Charlie & Lola" with the kids?

Better go and watch another episode :D

Mother of Chaos said...

OMG, yes! We *have* been watching Charlie & Lola!! Very much and completely absolutely probably too much Charlie & Lola.

Too funny - this is just like what happens when I talk to my clients in Texas on the phone. I hang up with a drawl, y'all.

And don't get me started on what happens when I talk to someone from Ireland...gads.

buffi said...

I have found that "weary" very accurately decribes how I am feeling lately. Weary of the behavior around here. Weary of the mess. Weary of my mother...I won't go on. You will become weary as well.