First Things First: Thanks. I appreciate all the comments and support and sympathy and suggestions. You guys are awesome.
Seconds things second: OH MY GAWD, my heating pad feels SO GOOD right now. It’s one of those barley-filled things you put in the microwave for a minute (or two) and then plop over whatever part ails ya? Stupid thing cost me, like, three bucks at a craft fair about…oh gads…fifteen years ago. Still going strong, still like magic on my back. And shoulder. And knee. And anything else that could do with a bit of good old fashioned heat therapy. Also, the smell makes me think of horse stables – the good parts, not the parts I was usually scooping up in there.
So things are utterly crazy around here. I mean, crazy. Not just the usual crazy – CRAZY-CRAZY. We’re moving forward with selling the house, and we’re plotting our course on atlases AND I’m one shot of vodka away from quitting my job for various reasons only a few of which actually have anything to do with the job itself PLUS there may be a change in my husband’s situation AND ALSO one of our daycares is closed for two weeks for Easter AND I can’t afford to pay for the ‘extended care’ option AND HONESTLY – have you ever felt like the Universe is playing Don’t Break the Ice on your psyche?!
However, it was pointed out to me that Mercury is in retrograde (darn); then it was stated that it would be out of retrograde on March 8 (whew); but then I realized that isn’t necessarily true, because there is the return trip, so to speak, which means the full effects of the cosmic temper-tantrum won’t be over until March 28 (ARGH!).
I firmly believe in astrology – it conveniently handles just about anything that goes wrong in life.
See, when standing in the ruins of what was a wonderful house of cards, I can either say, “This is mine to own. I own the original construction, which maybe wasn’t so good; I own the consequences, which are kind of messy; and also I own the reconstruction, which may be a big old bother I’d rather not deal with right now because I am emotionally distraught but oh well, boo hoo for me, such a pity, now suck it up and walk it off, Momma!”
Or, I can say, “Drat, Mercury is in retrograde again!” and we can all nod sagely and say, “Ooooooh, of course!” and, well, there you go. No need to bother about any of that ‘hard work’ part, because it was all preordained by the movement of the planets.
Now seriously, people. Which would you rather do?!
I’m not really as much a skeptic as I pretend on these issues; subtle forces can be the most powerful, and ones we don’t acknowledge can push us in directions we find surprising. (This, by the way, is a common symptom of the Universalist – we can accept that darn near anything is possible and love to romp through everybody else’s thoughts and dogma and potluck suppers.) (Presbyterians use more cans of cream of mushroom soup per capita than any other Christian denomination! Coincidence? I THINK NOT…)
But I digress.
My husband and I have had more meaningful conversations about life-direction in the last week than we’ve had in the nine years we’ve lived here. The brief flirtation with the Flood Plain Palace did a lot to open up our issue-box and let them out.
So I’m glad we found it, and I’m glad it fell through. It was the least perfect Perfect House™ ever. And now, we can move past that and get on with the more important thing: the Perfect Den™ in the Just Right© town with the right blend of culture and beauty.
And also getting the current Den ready to be sold. We’ve got, uh, a little bit to do, there…
It was such an unusual cold
3 months ago
Sometimes we put up with stuff and life goes on, all a bit unsatisfactory and making-do- rather like living in a permanently cloudy day.
But change is even harder - it means facing all the stuff we have carefully ignored. And making decisions we have avoided. Suddenly we are face to face with our reality and we don't like it one little bit.
But painful as it is, once you get to that stage then things get better. You can start moving on, doing stuff and that is good because the Blah part is over. I think that is where you are now.
It's awfully liberating really to be faced with these decisions. There are few things quite so soul destroying as feeling you are trapped in a situation that is not making you happy. And once you start looking and thinking and talking then you start getting choices: and you are trapped no longer.
It's hard to put into words without waffling endlessly. I think what I'm trying to say is Change Is Good, even if it hurts. And it is exciting too!
Wow - that's a lot of stuff to be contemplating. As my mama would say, "Great day in the morning!"
But, this is what you do, right? You collect and organize information, moving the pieces around until they present themselves in the fullest light, providing a vivid picture of the current situation and the best way to go forward. That and the knitting, that's what you do. And the baking bread. And I'm sure lots of other things. My point is, you will figure it out. Oh yes, you will figure it out. And hopefully, you will post about it along the way!
Consider Alameda. It is beautiful, very family friendly, has great schools (and daycare), is a SHORT Bart-ride away from the City. The downside is that the houses are expensive; not as expensive as some areas, but expensive. It DOES have a great Tiki Bar. (I thought that point might sell it.) ;o)
I can count on retrograde Mercury to tell me when I'll be in a hot and heavy test cycle at work. Just pull out the calendar, look for the retrogrades, and plan to be up to the earholes in release deadlines and software that doesn't work. Telecom software. It does SO WELL during Mercury Retrogrades! Heh heh heh.
I missed the story about whatever it is you're icing. Been away from the puter for days now. Whatever it was, hope it's better.
You know, I once had a bout of Insomnia that I shared with, like, 1/2 of California that I firmly blame on Mars being visible during the day...I'm with you...there are subtle, dog-barking, cat-hissing things out there that do make the universe at large play 'break the ice' with our psyches... I'm so glad you've managed to give that nasty Mercury the finger and get your equilibrium back...
I've been blaming Mercury for almost everything this past month.
I'm assuming that if my boss has a brief moment to ponder she shall do so also, right before I leave her lifeless body behind my van in the parking lot.
Hope things pick up for you; or at least you have someone good to kill.
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