Monday, February 07, 2011

On day seven…

“Hi, you’ve reached the office of Dr. Awesome. If this is a life-threatening emergency, please hang up and dial 911. Otherwise, please leave your name, number and a brief message, and we will get back to you as soon as possible.” {beep!}

“Oh. Uh. Yeah, hi, uh, I think I might need to maybe make an appointment? Yeah, because? I’ve sort of had this thing for a while now? Like, it’s been over seven days, and I think it’s actually getting worse instead of better? But still, I think it’s just the flu so maybe it’s just a waste of time. I dunno. But it isn’t getting better. So, yeah, I think I should probably make an appointment. So, uh, here’s my number, and, uh, yeah. Lemme know if I should come in.”

That’s right. If you look up the word ‘forceful’ in the dictionary, you’ll find me listed there.

Under ‘antonyms.’

{face-desk}

I don’t know which is sadder: How long it takes me to call the doctor in the first place, or how conflicted I still am about the “need” to go.

On the one hand, seven days is a long time to be under the thumb of a germ. It’s just not letting up, not at all. Oh, it acts like it’s going to; I feel better in the mornings and think, A-ha! Finally! I’m getting better!!, and then, right about now every afternoon, WHAM. Covered in sweat, chilled one second, baking the next, whole body feeling like it’s being beaten with sticks, stomach cramps, sinuses exploding, etc. etc. etc.

Also, I haven’t managed to hold onto solid food since last Sunday night. This morning when I put on my jeans, I thought the gap between the waist and my body seemed a little more…generous…than usual: Twelve pounds have come off me since last Monday morning, when I felt just fine and had no idea I’d be kneeling in front of a toilet in a BART station by Monday afternoon.

…if only it were the kind of weight loss that would actually stick, you know? Because sadly, as I suspect we’ve all experienced at one time or another, losing weight this way is usually a very temporary sort of thing. Within hours of hitting the feeding trough again, I’m sure those pounds will be right back around my middle again.

Which seems bitterly unfair. I mean, not that “diet and exercise” are a particularly easy way to go, mind you, but still…this has been a miserable, rotten, lousy, no-good, wretched week for me.

Seems really unfair that the only good thing about it isn’t real, you know?

…feh…

But, on the other hand, long duration alone does not change the fact that it is probably just the flu. (In point of fact, it rather confirms that it is just the flu…as opposed to a really bad cold or something.)

Which means that going to the doctor about it is likely going to mean handing over $200 to hear the words, “Go home, go to bed, rest and drink plenty of fluids.”

BUT…at the same time…well. Much as I don’t think I am suffering from anything more dire than possibly a new sinus infection that is just starting up (…yeah…owies…), the fact remains that this has just been going on a while too long.

And wouldn’t I feel like a proper jackass if I were walking around with pneumonia or, or, or I dunno…Legionnaires disease…or…something?

Yeah. I would.

Even though I’m totally not.

I don’t think, anyway.

(On a related note: Do not ever attempt to look up your symptoms on the Internet in an attempt to determine for yourself whether your lungs are “crackly” enough to warrant a trip to the doctor. Holy crap. It’s either just a garden-variety flu bug, or…flesh-eating bacterial meningitis with raging coccidioidomycosis double-pneumonia radioactive cancerous nose job with a side of jelly-dipped bacon!!!)

(…wait, what?!…)

6 comments:

PBear said...

Go to the doctor :-) Seven days is long enough. (I'm the same way, and made the same excuses when I finally went in January... after a round of antibiotics for the sinus infection, and a round of steroids for the subsequent lung inflammation, I was JUST feeling better when my dearly beloved son shared the crud that he has had for the last several weeks. (sort of an assumption on my part, since his was a sinus infection too, and I don't think mine is. Yet.)

So go. Because also - paying homage to the porcelain god, losing 12 pounds? Not your typical respiratory influenza....

(hope you are feeling better SOON!)

Elizabeth L in Apex, NC said...

Definitely give the nice doctor some money to make it go away. Feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

Sometimes us mere mortals can have a virus like thing and an infection like thing together at the sametime. I know this from more than several rounds of this junk. In the olden days - actually just a few years ago - there wasn't much that could be done for a virus but I think there is stuff to help with viruses. The idea when I had this junk was to treat the infection and then the body would heal itself of the virus. Yea - right. Anyway, go see the doc. Even if you can't get an appointment. I have showed up at the docs office first thing in the morning and they can usually fit me in.

I hope you feel better soon.

Terena said...

Get thee to a doctor!

Steph B said...

My word, woman! Get better already, will ya? You're scaring me here. Sending healthy vibes your way.

Leoal said...

You shouldn't have to decide if your health is worth $200. Every time I hear something like this I am more appalled.