Saturday, October 23, 2010

Why Having A Stash Of Ridiculous Size Is Actually A Good Idea, Reason #17

When you find yourself with a knitting emergency and really, really, really would like to be casting on, you know, soon, it’s far better to already have the yarn on hand than to find yourself agonizing over whether or not it’s worth the extra $11 to have it “express shipped” so you can have it up to two weeks sooner than you’ll get it via the “free standard by which we mean slowest possible” method.


I made the mistake of calculating out how long it would take to finish a certain sweater in terms of ‘X hours for the front and Y hours for the back’ and then figured out how long that translated to how many days I was talking about considering my average number of available knitting hours per day and then I was all ohmygah and then I ordered the yarn (which naturally, I don’t have on hand because that would be convenient) and then…there it was. Staring at me. This order qualifies for free standard shipping! Hooray! Only it will take between 5 and 14 calendar days!

And then I clicked on and off the upgrade button for shipping.

{click!} 3 Day Express Shipping.

Stare at additional $11 added to the total just to get it in three days instead of up to 14.

{click!} Free Standard Shipping.

Stare at estimated delivery date of approximately forever plus two days from now.

{click!} {stare}
{click!} {stare}
{click!} {stare}
{click!} {stare}

And all this internal torment could have been averted, if I’d just had the wisdom and foresight to buy four warehouses of assorted colors and weights and fiber-contents at the last Stitches marketplace, instead of only three.

Live and learn, my friends, live and learn…

(Nah, I didn’t pay for the faster shipping. It would have brought me out in hives. And because I didn’t, it will take three weeks to get here, because that is how my luck goes. If I don’t care when it shows up, it’ll be here in five days flat. But the very fact that I am anxiously awaiting that box on the porch causes some kind of disturbance in the Shipping Force, rippling out into the Universe in such a way that the GPS systems of every major shipping company in the world suddenly begins to malfunction. It’s true! It’s like parking spaces. If I don’t care, I get a spot right in front of the store. If I’m all, “Meh, I don’t wanna hafta walk, I wanna spot right by the door…”, well, you’d have more luck trying to sneak a canvas bag marked “Warning: Explosives” bristling with random wires and ominously ticking electronics an unopened water bottle through airport security than I’ll have getting any parking space within three miles of the supermarket.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Totally! Except that I think the continuation of this thought is that no matter how big the stash may be, I never have the yarn I need for THIS project right now!
Husband, "You're ordering more yarn? You already have yarn!"
Me, "Oh, silly, I don't have THIS yarn!"