Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Oh, but it looks good on YOU though…

So last week, I glanced into the mirror while washing my hands and noticed a crease on my forehead, right between my eyebrows.

Huhn, I thought. What on earth has been pushing THERE?!

Because obviously, it couldn’t be a wrinkle. Wrinkles don’t just appear like that. Not canyon-style ones, anyway. Fine lines, sure, whatever, but the kind where you can feel them when you run your finger over them, even if you’re making a really silly face trying to smooth the skin?

Nah. They don’t just appear like that. Obviously my glasses were sitting funny on my face or something.

Only it was still there the next day.

I tried to remember if I’d run into something – like, say, the edge of a ruler. Yeah. That might do it. A good direct smack from the edge of a ruler might have put that line there. And…cause memory loss…right? Smacks to the head do that, right?

Suuuuuuure they do…

Eventually, though, I had to face the awful truth: It’s a wrinkle. A real, true, honest, deep wrinkle.

That isn’t what bothers me, though. What bothers me is that it is definitely a frown line.

Which, you know, gah. So not fair. I spend 95% of my time laughing, but do I get a laugh-wrinkle? No. I get a frown line.

Naturally, I turned to my beloved husband, my soul mate, my sensitive partner in all things Life, and went, “WAH, FROWN LINE!!!”

To which he rejoined, “But honey, you’ve had all those wrinkly laugh lines all around your eyes for years! It’s not like the frown one is the first one you’ve gotten or something! And those really cute ones around your mouth, they've been there forever!”

Oh yes, he did. And then proceeded to catalog every fine line and saggy bit of my face for me.

Because he is was helpful that way.

His funeral is Thursday.

In lieu of flowers, please send beer.

And wrinkle cream.

6 comments:

PipneyJane said...

It's not a frown line - it's a squint line. At least, that's what I tell myself because I have one too and have had it since my '20s. In the exact same place as my mother had it, too (to add fuel to the fire). It's one of those things that accompany the curse of life-long glasses wearing.

I hope the life insurance will pay up. :o)

- Pam

ellipsisknits said...

Indeed.
Have you considered that all that knitting (during the part of the day that you aren't squinting at a computer screen) might have contributed to a brow furrow?
I'm sure the spa vacation you take to celebrate the completion of the sweater will make that just melt away.

Monday's Child said...

ROFLMAO! The poor, dear, oblivious man.

Meg said...

Squint line...yah, I like that one, Pam. Because of the knitting. And the computer. I've got one, too, and so did my mother (which is a real killer, since she frowned and didn't have a computer and wasn't an obsessive knitter). I'm sure the funeral will be beautiful and your actions totally justified, under the circumstances. [LOL]

~Meg

Terena said...

My hubby did something similar, only it involved fat, not wrinkles.

it will be a wonderful wake.

Steph B said...

Men....can't live with 'em, don't have a place to hide the bodies. I'm sure it really is just a squint line from excessive computer-gazing and knitting examination.

I was 8 months pregnant with oldest son and was congratulating myself on the fact that I had somehow avoided stretch marks. Hubby looked at me and calmly said "Oh, you've got lots, they're just under your belly where you can't see them." I only let him live because he's really good at lifting and moving things. And he's cute. :-)