Friday, August 21, 2009

The week in review

The Short Version: First, I went, “AAAAAAAAH!” Then, I was all, “ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!” After which I said, “OH, you are @*^&@in’ kidding me!” Then, “Oh-no-you-di-in!” And then there was this lull where I just curled up in the corner and whimpered quietly to myself.

The Long Version: There were interruptions to the Usual Schedule this week. Monday is an early release day for the girls and Captain Adventure’s bus was Late – I think I had two hours before I had to drop everything and go get the kids. Tuesday was almost normal, except that people kept calling me. I finally stopped answering the phone, because it was always something complicated, stupid, insipid or just plain irritating.

Wednesday, I took Captain Adventure for an appointment wherein we decided we’d go ahead and try a new medication for him – but first, due to this incredibly rare side effect that occurs in something like 0.000000008% of the folks who take this particular stuff, and furthermore due to his lack of speech skills which would lead to him not saying something like, “Gee, my heart feels funny” if he actually did have a pre-existing condition…he’s supposed to get an EKG.

Hilarity ensues!!!

For some reason, he took one look at the EKG machine and decided it looked like the kind of thing that would burn him. So instead of finding the stickers cool and the “computer’s crayons” interesting, he kicked and screamed and fought and cried and guess what? You can’t do an EKG on a child who is kicking, screaming, fighting and crying.

It sort of throws off the whole test.

SO! I need to drug him up and take him back later. Now watch, the way my luck has been going lately, I’ll give him the “peace, my child” liquid and he will be in that 0.0000005% group which, instead of feeling warm, luscious waves of relaxation flowing over him, turns all spastic-hyper-crazy and stays up for six days straight wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Yesterday, Boo Bug stayed home “sick.” She said her stomach hurt and she threw up “a little” in their bathroom. Within an hour, she was just fine – and that meant that she started talking to me. Constantly. Non-stop. Incessantly. To the point where I was half ready to just take her to school and drop her off even though technically I’m not allowed to do so once she’s been called in sick – but seriously, what are they going to do? Chase me down the street?

I assure you my minivan can drive faster than the school secretary can run.

Speaking of the minivan – three hours at the shop for routine maintenance this week. Three. Hours. Granted, it was the 30,000 service and all but still. THREE. HOURS.

My hair practically fell out of my head in disgust.

But I did get a bit of inch-age done on the scarf I’m working on, so I’ve got that going for me.

And then today, I took Eldest and Danger Mouse to the dentist – for two cases of sealant and two fillings, both of them on Danger Mouse.

It was her first time under the drill. She was very, very brave and did a bang-up job and I’m extremely proud of her. She even wanted to go to school, after she’d been home for a little bit getting over the Novocain and letting the Tylenol work its magic. (Friday is not a day they like to miss – that’s when the fun stuff happens.)

Eldest announced on the way back to school this morning that if she didn’t have Appropriate Gym Attire today, she was going to be executed. Or have to go to detention. Or eat worms. She couldn’t remember exactly what. Anyway, it was something unpleasant.

She didn’t have appropriate gym attire because they sold out of appropriate gym attire and we were then on our own to find a plain gray shirt with no printing on it and plain blue or green shorts with no printing on them, either.

Good Freakin’ Luck. Especially if you’re shopping for a girl who is eleven years old, nine years tall but only six years around the middle. Gah.

So I did the only responsible, adult thing I could: I stalled until I was dropping her off after her third period gym class. Problem solved! (Temporarily, anyway.)

Meanwhile in other news…I have not had time to do any of the things I’d hoped to get under way this week.

And now I’m late picking up the first of the girls.


Eventually, this is going to get better, right? Eventually, we’ll all find our groove and people will be in school when they’re supposed to be in school and I’ll actually have a couple hours each day to do something other than tread water, right?

(Just say yes. I can’t handle the truth, people, I just can’t handle it…)


ccr in MA said...

Yes. Absolutely yes.

Tola said...

i am 40 years old and i still have nightmares about the first week of school. or the last week when i realize i signed up for a class that i havent attended all semester. i graduated in 1993 and im still having school anxiety nightmares?

the first week is always the worst. my husband would tell you to bribe the teachers with copious amounts of chocolate and wine. just sayin' . . . .

froggiemeanie said...

Yes. Yes indeed.

The image of a dotty little school secretary chasing your retreating van down the street has me in stitches (apologies to your school secretary if she's a 22-year-old sprinter).

Unknown said...

"I stalled until I was dropping her off after her third period gym class." I think this temporary solution is priceless, and I'm a public school teacher! I am also a parent, even though my babies are all grown up now. Don't let the bureaucracy get you down!

With us, it was the one store with uniforms that had sold out of the shorts that were a reasonable length, some very, very short shorts with very loose legs left, and a 6th grade girl who was going into a coed PE class who did not want to have to do calesthenics dressed like that in front of the boys. One clerk made fun of her. I still don't shop there, and DD is 28.

Jeanne said...

suggestion on the gym attire, if your mall (ugh, hate malls) has a Justice (used to be Limited Too) check there. They have gobs of items with printing on them, but they also have nice plain shorts and shirts that are not too expensive - just blindfold your daughter so she can't see the rest of the stuff. My Aunt took my 11 year old there and now she wants to go constantly even though a) she doesn't need clothes b) we don't have money for new clothes c) I hate shopping with a passion (unless of course for knitting supplies) and d) she has a birthday coming up at which said Aunt will probably flood her with clothes from Justice....

Steph B said...

Most definitely yes.

This too shall pass.

Lisa said...

Ohhh, I'm soooooo glad my kids are grown up! I remember those years well. I won't type what I'm thinking, which has to do with when they reach driving age. But never mind that right now. Forget I even mentioned it...

Kathy and Judy said...

Gray t-shirt with no writing = turn one inside out that does have writing. My clever son figured that out in PE one day when he didn't have Appropriate Attire either and was at risk of assassination or running 500 laps around the gym or whatever.