…she will probably get started on it first thing in the morning. Clean the front room, no big deal!
And then she will notice a big fifty pound box of cocoa powder by the front door, and she will want to move it to the garage storage where it belongs.
When she drags the box to the garage, she will notice there are many, many empty boxes sitting there waiting to be broken down and put into the recycling.
After she breaks down the boxes, she will want to put them in the recycling bin.
When she goes to put the boxes in the recycling bin, she will probably notice that the trash and greens bins haven’t been brought all the way in yet. And she will want this rectified.
When she takes the greens bin back to the garden, she will want to check and see how it is doing.
When she checks to see how the garden is doing, she will find aphids!!! are suddenly all over every single leaf in sight. And she will definitely want this rectified.
With. Extreme. Prejudice.
So she will have to find the old vegetable oil, and mix dish soap into it, and then mix that with water and spray it all over the aphids. She will also want to laugh like an insane person while she does this, because death to aphids, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Then she will notice that the neighbor mowed his half of the lawn recently, and now her lawn looks extremely disheveled. So she will want to mow it. Or at least she will feel a social obligation to do so. Anyway, she will want to get the lawnmower.
Which will need more gas, so she will start searching through the garage to find it.
While searching the garage, she will unearth a large bag of toys that were flung out there at some point and start digging through them wondering if the missing Nintendo might be in there.
But she’ll come to her senses and return to the gas pretty quick. Right after she grabs that first handful of spider web.
Then she’ll fill up the mower, and mow the lawn. The lawnmower will blow a bunch of cuttings all over the walkway, SO, she’ll want to get the broom.
Which is in the shed.
Many hilarious adventures involving spider webs and ill-advised stuff-stacking techniques later, she will take the broom out to the front yard and start sweeping.
Then, she’ll remember the ants, which were trying to colonize under the driveway pad. So she’ll want to be extra thorough in the cracks of the driveway, so she can check for ants.
She won’t want to think what the neighbors think she’s up to as she sweeps, then crouches, peers intently at the crack, and then delicately brushes at the crack a few more times…and peers at it for another long moment…
FINALLY, she’ll put the gardening tools away and realize that she’s hungry and wants a snack. So she’ll go to the kitchen for some peach pie. (Breakfast/lunch/dinner of champions!)
And then she’ll notice that the floor in there is really, really dirty. So naturally, she’ll have to sweep and mop that before she can have pie.
And then as she’s taking the pie keeper out of the fridge, she’ll notice that the flat of strawberries in there are getting mushy and had better be used immediately.
So she’ll set down the pie and get out the food mill and the berry strainer and several pots and pans and pint-sized Mason jars and lids and tongs and all sorts of other implements, and she’ll make six (and a half) pints of strawberry jam. (Eating a big slice of pie during the processing time, which is the first time she can take her hands completely off the whole thing for more than a few moments.)
And then it will be time to pick up the children, so she’ll grab her knitting and get in the minivan, and alternate frantic activity with sitting around waiting for a little over an hour, knitting intently because what, just SIT here?! I’d go MENTAL!!
And then she’ll come home.
She’ll walk through her front door.
She’ll look at the still-messy front room that was her only task for the day.
And she will think, and for a few moments honestly believe, that she has gotten absolutely nothing done all day. She will begin trying to pinpoint where she went wrong. She will retrace the steps that led her to this moment.
And then it will dawn on her that actually, she got rather a lot done today thank you very much, and that she deserves not only a nice hot shower but an early bedtime.
Because tomorrow…she’s got another very short task list.
The Queen is Dead. God Save the King!
1 week ago