Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Only in California…

OK, so, what seems like last week, I was sitting around waiting eagerly for 4:00. Why? Because 4:00 was when I had wrung the very last warmth from the very last ray of sunshine, and the heater came on and my house would go from 'icebox' to 'bearable.' This enabled me to do the dishes and cook dinner without wearing five layers of sweater and jacket and maybe a hat and gloves. (I am part lizard. I need warmth to have any motivation.)

Now, I'm sitting around waiting for 4:00. Why? Because 4:00 is when the sun finally quits beating the heck out of my house and the air conditioner comes on, bringing my house from 'sauna' to 'pleasant'. (I am part lizard. Too much heat and all I can do is lie around with my mouth open under a rock [or the dining room table] [hey, don't knock it – it is actually one of the cooler places in the house, in the summertime] waiting for the sun to go away, already.)

Two minutes ago, you know, in the winter, I was rushing in the early morning to open all the heavy wooden blinds to let every drop of warmth-giving sun in.

Now, thirty seconds later, I'm rushing around closing those heavy wooden blinds to block out as much heat as I can. 'Cause it's going to get hot later.

I swear, California can be so odd, weather-wise. I was born and raised right here in the San Francisco Bay Area, and yet, somehow, I feel the weather is just plain wrong. How can we go straight from worrying about our pipes freezing overnight to crawling around panting from the heat, with a scant two-three weeks of cold, rainy weather between? C'mon. Isn't there supposed to be, you know, a Turning of the Seasons? First you see a couple snowdrops and bluebells…then there's a rainy period where it is almost warm when it isn't raining…and this goes on for a while…and then it starts to get warmer…warmer…warmer…OK! HOT! HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT! HOT! We're dying! Too hot! Too dry! Too humid! No rain! Too much heat! Ack! Uck! Cooler…cooler…mornings get crisp…evenings become 'stroll-worthy'…nights are getting cold…pumpkins and leaves and children wearing jackets…colder…colder…oh my goodness! Is this snow?!...and then colder and wetter and snowy-er, and then you're all miserable and sick of it and wishing it was Spring already and then, lo and behold…a snowdrop! {lather, rinse, repeat}

Nossir. Not here in California. I think there's an on/off switch for winter and summer. Here in the Central Valley, it seems we're always either baking, or freezing. And occasionally, during the seasons the rest of the world calls "Spring" and "Fall", it feels as though $DEITY is having fun flicking the switch. Hey! It's winter! Psych! It's summer! Winter! Summer! Ha! Summer! WINTER! HA! Look at those weathermen sweat!!

That's my home state. Land of few(er) bugs, less "weather" and more granola than you can shake a stick at…

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