Thursday, August 04, 2011

A post would go here, if I weren’t so tired

I know I’m tired when things like this occur to me: Super hero names that start with ‘Captain.’ Captain America. Captain Adventure. Captain Underpants.

Now. Try to make up a female “Captain Something.” Now you see where I’m going with this.

We have Captain Jane Smith, United States Armed Forces, right? And yet, when I sit here trying to think of a good female superhero named Captain {$Heroic-Something}, I have precisely bumpkis.

This is my brain on Tired.

I see things like Gold Painted Jeans and I go, “OHMYGAH, why, why, have I not thought of this before?!?!”

Which is probably a touch more likely for someone to think when they have three (3) girls. Because if you were to tell most boys that you could put a doily pattern on their jeans in gold paint, they would look at you with an expression that clearly said you were two crackers short of a snack tray.

But with girls, well. The opposite. A few girls (like, um, Eldest) will just give you that look. But the other ones start bouncing up and down emitting this insane sound (‘eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!’) that sets every dog in the neighborhood barking.

Of course, I am way too tired to even look at the website anymore. (Although I totally intend to get my hands on some of those fabric paints because how cool is that, seriously?! - and, after heat-setting, they are [allegedly] washable.)

This is because – and try to look surprised here – my ‘vacation’ to date has involved…wait for it…shovels.

Lots, and lots, and lots…of shovels.

Plus organizing the shed, because I finally barked my shins on something stupid that shouldn’t have been there in the first place for the last time. After having spent thirty minutes looking for something that wasn’t where I thought it was for the last time. ARGH.

Plus weeding. And mulching. And more shoveling. And planting. And every single day this week, I have said (seriously, as if I meant it) that today, I was going to get out there early (check) and finish up fast, before it got hot, and move on to other things, like, I dunno, the inside of the house.

Which I would totally get on, if I weren’t so tired that I’m falling asleep in my chair here.

Funny how sometimes, I look at my yard and think, Dang, I wish I had about four times more space!…while other times, I drag in from it, throw myself into a chair and go, Gah, that yard is WAY too big!

At the moment, it’s way too big. Ginormous. Ridiculously large. And the weeds grow so fast I think I can actually hear them doing it. Or maybe that’s the bugs, chewing.

I have spent four straight days out there doing hard, manual labor, and I am still not done.

Yard = too big.

But, I did make some really good headway. And I learned a lot about how to fix broken sprinkler stuff, because the husband wasn’t available to help with it.

And the watermelon patch is taking off.

Watermelon Patch

And there are even watermelons in it.


I haven’t counted them, of course, because only a crazy person would crawl around a melon patch on her knees counting even the itty-bitty-tiny watermelons, so it isn’t like I know I have fourteen watermelons out there right now, plus six bumps that will probably become watermelons.

It’s just an educated guess is all.


Also, there was actual food I could actually bring in and actually eat.

Bounty of July 31

I still love the potatoes.

Red White and Blue Potatoes

Pretty soon, I’ll find out how the Yukon gold potatoes did in their somewhat unconventional planter.


And the sweet potatoes are doing well.

Sweet Potatoes

The yams…are surviving. And today I found out why they are doing so “eh”: Persons Unknown had turned the main valve on their water source alllll the way down. The trees were getting drips, and the yams were getting {nothing}. For I don’t know how long, so really it’s a bit miraculous that they aren’t dead right now.


If yams could talk, “somebody” would be in BIG TROUBLE right about now.

And they might just end up fed to the artichoke blossom. I think it could take care of things, if you know what I mean…

Artichoke in Bloom
…FEEEEEEEED me, Seymour!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I liked the jeans thing and I'm in my middle 50s. I doubt I'd usee gold paint, but I might use a darker color to be a stencil for embroidering or beading ....