Dudes. I totally have a time machine in my house!
This morning, I got up at 3:35. And I got ready and left my bedroom at 3:52. (Because I am a glamour queen who spends ever-so-much-time getting her "look" together in the morning.) (I call it the "drowned rat" and any day now, it will totally catch on.)
I went downstairs, walked through my hallway and guess what? Even though it only took me, like, ten seconds to walk through the hallway, it was 4:09 in the kitchen!
Then I left my kitchen at 4:28, walked through the hallway again, and guess what?!
It was 4:38 in the car!! And I was LATE LATE LATE!!!! And I just ever-so-barely as in HAD TO RUN FOR IT made my train!!
Dudes. Obviously? My hallway? Is a mystic time portal!
Tonight when I get home, I'm planning to run backwards from my back door through the hallway, out the front door and around the back to do it again about five thousand times. Give or take. Whatever it takes: My goal is to be thirty-two again.
I think it may just be possible!
Either that, or I'm going to be explaining myself to a psychiatrist because I've thoroughly wigged out my neighbors.
(Working the too-danged-early shift: A leading cause of insanity since 1902.)
G. K. Chesterton
12 hours ago