Friday, November 21, 2008

…motivation…levels…dropping…

Today is the last day of after-school care for the Denizens. School is out for a week starting Monday, the girls’ after school program doesn’t run on days school isn’t in session, and Captain Adventure’s daycare is closed for most of the week for Thanksgiving…so really, this is it.

This is the last day I have a block from 8:00 to 5:00 for, you know, stuff.

I feel as though I should be doing one of two things: Everything, or nothing.

I should either be doing all those things that are difficult to do with young children pelting up and down the hallway, or I should be out there at Starbucks sucking down peppermint mochas and knitting until 4:59 tonight.

Instead, I’m…puttering.

I’m playing at working, followed by a little Internet surfing, then I say, “Hey! Wake up, stupid! Either do something, or go do nothing!!”

And then I do neither something nor nothing until suddenly I realized that I am once again puttering around.

I think a large part of my problem today is that I have absolutely zero motivation. I woke up this morning already dead tired, and it has only gone downhill from there. About the only productive thing I’ve done all day long was creep out a fellow mom by staring fixedly at her precious toddler, muttering to myself, while my husband and I waited for our coffee at Starbucks.

Her adorable child was wearing an equally adorable knitted poncho. Which I could so totally make, probably with something already in my stash.

You know how it is.

ANYWAY.

I just really can’t seem to light a fire under my behind today. Not even to do something vacation-y.

I just keep puttering.

I’m going to be pissed next week, when I can’t do anything because I’ve got four Denizens charging around screaming and carrying on. When I can’t leave the house alone, when I can’t string two thoughts together and call it a chain, when I can’t sit down in my comfy chair and knit for more than five minutes without somebody bursting into my life with some Urgent Thing Or Other.

But even knowing this…I can’t make myself focus.

Sigh.

Right. OK. I’m going to go check the mail drop. Maybe if I just leave the Den, Inspiration will strike I will suddenly find myself passionately engaged with…something.

Anything.

And if nothing else, there’s still $8.55 on that Starbucks card I got from MyPoints last week…

5 comments:

DysdHousewife said...

Sometimes you just have to enjoy the moment. No pressure, just the moment.

judithrcns said...

but but but, some times you just need time to PUTTER! Enjoy it.

kissmyfrog said...

I can't help much with motivation, but for next week here's a tip passed down from my mother and grandmother. The rule in our house is:
When mummy is knitting, DO NOT interrupt her unless it involves blood, vomit or fire. Anything else can wait till the end of the row.

Ruth said...

Somedays I can't get out of the puttering mood myself. My best days are went I set a goal to get as much accomplished as possible in a certain amount of time, and then spend some time doing absolutely nothing. The best of both worlds!

Steph B said...

I tend to do the same thing. I've been forced to admit that I apparently enjoy being somewhat stressed, because I do my best work (in any area!) when I've got a deadline breathing down my neck. Go figure. Oh, and our house has a rule a lot like kissmyfrog's, only we use the 4 B's: if someone isn't broken, bleeding, barfing or burning, then they're fine. Tough love, folks, tough love. :-)