The sound you have just heard is the air rushing back into the vacuum formerly occupied by stress.
Two days ago, I was so stressed out I got adrenaline surges every time the phone rang. Even if it was just my mom. I was just kind of in A State. Too much to do, too little time. So much on my plate from the job that I just felt utterly overwhelmed. Deadlines…slipping. Boss…embarrassed…in front of…client.
So this morning, I sat down at my computer bright and early and went back to the problem that had been stumping me for three long hours yesterday.
CASE WHEN blah blah blah THEN blah blah blah…works fine
WHEN yadda yadda yadda THEN yadda yadda yadda…works fine
where the hell is the problem? because there IS a problem…
WHEN so-forth-and-so-on THEN so-forth-and-so…
hang on a second…you don’t suppose…?
Bingo. Somewhere along the line, a very simple mathematical inconsistency was made. Nine times out of ten, the percentage is left as it is: .97, .03, .001.
This tenth time, someone had helpfully given us the leading ‘1’. 1.97, 1.03, 1.001…
So when we went to get our margin calculations and put in Price * (1 + pct)…we got ‘almost’ double what we ought to have gotten.
Calmly, competently, I fixed the source table to be like its nine brothers. Reran the stored procedures. Double checked that the numbers looked right and matched across all source tables.
Calmly, competently, I slammed out the draft reports and emailed them away.
Calmly, competently, I danced around the room bellowing, “Lookit me, m’bad self! Oh yeah! Dat’s right! You can run, but you can’t hide! Uh-huh! Dat’s right!!”
(Fortunately, I do not have a webcam. Because I’m pretty sure I looked damned silly.)
At the same time, I learned this morning that my daycare costs will be dropping by, get this, $192 per week by the end of the first week in August. This is because Captain Adventure is turning The Magic 2; also, Danger Mouse (now a full-time schoolager) and Eldest go back to school, cutting their costs almost in half.
The sudden release of stress is dizzying. I’m feeling so wild I may just go out and blow $20 on a pedicure. Seeing as how I am not only already over 40 hours for the week but well over 80 for the pay period…consider it shipped. I’m gonna do it.
No! Wait! Also, I’m gonna pay the extra $2 to get stupid little flowers outlined on my big toes!!
That’ right. That’s how wild I am right now. Jump back, gimmie room! I’ve gone wiiiiiild…!
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