Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Under the bed should always be the first place you look...

“Moooooooom!!! Mommy? Mommy! MOM-EEEEE!”

“WHAT?!?!”

“Where’s my green shirt?!”

“…in your shirt drawer…?”

“No, not that one! The other one!!”

“Excuse me – did I ask you to take care of this yesterday?”

“But where is it?!”

“Have I not been saying for THREE DAYS to know where your First Day Of School clothes were?!”

“But I can’t FIND it!”

“Honestly! What IS it with you kids?! I talk and talk and talk and do you listen? NO. GET DOWN OFFA THAT! Look under the…put the cat down, she’s not going to school today!...look under the…DOWN! Captain Adventure! Get DOWN!...try un-…what did I JUST SAY?! Boo Bug, I’m not saying it again: Put that cat down, right NOW! She is NOT coming to school with us and That! Is! Final!...BED! ARGH! Eldest! ELDEST! Get your brother OFF of there! TRY UNDER YOUR BED!!!!”

{sound of four children all trying ask Mommy something from different rooms at the same time while Daddy is yelling something about the seats in the van and the state of the lawn from the driveway}

{…distantly…barely audible above the din} “…it’s wet!...”

“WHAAAAAT?!”

“IT’S WET!!!”

“What’s WET?!”

“MY GREEN SHIRT!!!”

“You found it? Where was it?” …wait…I don’t want to know…

“UNDER THE BED!”

Sigh.

“Pick something else, then!”

{howls of dismay...stomping…door slamming…drawer slamming…more stomping…}

{four children still trying to ask Mommy something at the same time from the far-flung reaches of the Den…Daddy still blathering on about the damned lawn…or something to do with email, maybe he’s moved on…}

Time check…!YES!

“FRONT DOOR!!!!!!!!”

Let the glad tidings ring forth – it is time for them to assemble at the Front Door, the Portal to the Outside World, where lies the First Day Of School, HUZZAH!!!!!!

Three silly sisters…

silly sisters

…and one slightly puzzled brother…

school what?

…plus one daddy who would really rather be doing Anything Else…

I coulda joined the Army

(Does this expression not totally say, “I should have joined the Army…I could be in a nice, safe warzone somewhere but noooooooo…”?)

…are loading themselves into the van to face the mayhem that is The First Day Of School.

Meanwhile, the cat…really doesn’t care…she’s just grateful for a little peace and @*^&@ing quiet

doesn't care

Smart cat.

8 comments:

meezermeowmy said...

Whew! I'm tired just reading!
Now I understand the title of your blog.

Must concentrate on quiet after the storm!

Michelle F said...

Ah yes - but unfortunately for me this will not happen for another couple of weeks AND to add insult to injury I'm a special ed aide and must start the DAY BEFORE the MONSTERS! They get a day off without me! WAHHHHHHHHH!

Science PhD Mom said...

So, how did you enjoy your first day sans the three Denizens? How did Captain Adventure cope with their absence?

no-blog-rachel said...

Good grief - school already? Yikes!

RM Kahn said...

Poor Hubby, he looks so amused. Capt. Adventure is looking so grown-up!

Stephanie said...

Great picture of your hubby! Mine looks almost as amused any time I try to take his picture.

Lydee said...

LOL!

setters said...

hahahaa...

I have just found you & I love it!!