Saturday, July 23, 2011

Almost had to happen

Man oh man.

SEE, this is why we don't generally have state of the art *anything*, or artwork, or allow people to park precious whatnots with us.

This evening, Captain Adventure wheedled some cookies from me and settled in to watch TV with his sisters.

He set down his bag of cookies.

And Eldest picked them up.

Here is what I heard from the other room, where I was slicing up peaches and arranging the slices on the dehydrator racks:

"Heyyyyyyyyyy! Gimmie it those back at me!" shouted the Captain.

"They aren't YOURS you know, they're for Everyone!" replied the teen, followed swiftly by the sound of stuff hitting the floor, and this further gem from the big sister: "Hey, don't you hit ME, they AREN'T. ALL. YOURS!!!!!!"

There were then three squeals as I was rinsing peach juice off my hands and reaching for a towel...and then Danger Mouse ran into the kitchen, wide-eyed and said, "Captain is throwing things...he just threw the tape dispenser at the TV!"

For one wild moment, I thought *maybe* it was, you know, one of those light little disposable ones..., sand-bottomed office-style...

...and yeah, the big, expensive flat screen is now useless, shattered, pathetically flashing as it tries to figure put what HAPPENED to it..., crap-apples...!

Sometimes, it seems to me that "good" parenting must perforce be defined very, VERY simply: I did not KILL any of my Denizens today.

I am an effin' GODDESS of maternal awesome, yo.


Abby - Bright Yellow World said...

Oh my gosh, I would be LIVID. You are a saint!

Kerri Warmus said...

A spot in heaven has now been reserved in your name. Right next to me. I earned mine by not killing my husband when, after being told MULTIPLE times to be VERY CAREFUL with a treasured stain glass artifact created by my first-born, he oh-so-carefully set it down on the couch and then took a step away, lost his balance, and SAT ON IT.

Layne Bushell said...

That is one of my greatest fears...a baseball through the tv... i'm sorry, and proud you didn't kill them...cause I'm sure I would have!!! no really...I meant it, I probably would have!

PipneyJane said...

I'm praying that your contents insurance covered this.

As Abby said, you are a saint. I don't know how you cope - you have my deepest admiration. I've an IRL friend whose son is autistic and she's been living with "hell on earth" for the last few years, so much so that they've been driven to applying for residential care for him. It's breaking her heart but it's getting to the point where it is the only option. I hope you never have to go through that.

- Pam

Anonymous said...

Dang, woman. You're a saint.

Anonymous said...

OMG, you brought to mind something my sainted mother used to say: "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, please help me not to kill one of my children today." Scared the pants off us every time because she'd be gritting her teeth and turning purple at the time. I have 8 brothers and sisters and I think one of the reasons I love reading your blog is that the chaos brings me fond memories of my childhood! Thanks for the rememberies.
Nancy FP

Steph B said...

Ouch. That hurts.

And I totally love your definition of good parenting...I've been using something similar for years now! :-)