I mean, wow.
This week went by so fast I think I got a friction burn from turning the calendar pages.
And it ended with the excitement of a car chase!
Well. It wasn’t exactly a car chase. But it was a shuttle bus that was running late driven by a guy who, uh, was extremely dedicated to his mission, and I swear to Dog as we all fell out of the bus at the train station we practically went to our knees and kissed the damp pavement because folks – that was one wild ride.
But hey, he got us there in time. Which was good, because if we’d missed that train we couldn’t have made the Denizen pickup time, and that would have been bad.
Then Eldest made dinner. Which was spaghetti. Because this is one of the things she can make all by herself! (Although it’s still advisable to keep an eye on things, because she has this way of getting distracted and then you end up with a kind of paste instead of spaghetti noodles.)
She did this because I was busy being all DIY-y and fixing my broken paper shredder, with nothing but a pair of tweezers.
MacGyver’s got nothing on me, baby.
Oh. OK. It wasn’t that big a deal. Just a bunch of paper got jammed down in the sensor thingee so it wouldn’t sense stuff anymore. So I got a pair of tweezers and teased it out of there. But it required hand-eye coordination! So. It was, you know, well.
Maybe not all that cool. But! It got kind of exciting when I finally worried the last clump of wadded up pulp free, because the shredder sprang to life and went, “RRRRRRRRRRRR!” and I went, “Yipe!!” and almost dropped it because heh-heh, funny story actually…I thought I unplugged it before I started jabbing at it with a pointy metal object?
But I didn’t.
The printer, though…it was safely unplugged while I was grumbling to myself while jabbing the pointy metal object firmly into the shredder around the sensor thingee – which is probably the only part of that mechanism with anything close to an exposed wire.
And then I got to sit here and think about what the news story would have been like.
Woman electrocutes self with paper shredder – full story at eleven!
And people all around the world would have been asking each other: How stupid do you have to be, to do something like that?! Thank God we’re not that stupid, honey! Aloha to that, too right…
Seems like a Monday sort of thing to do, doesn’t it? Or possibly a Wednesday.
But Friday? Naw. Fridays aren’t supposed to be full of stupid stuff like that – or having an avalanche of paperwork skid off your desk onto the floor, because you may have jerked just a bit when the not-actually-unplugged shredder roared to life and smacked it with your elbow…which wouldn’t actually have knocked it over but then you over-reacted to the smackage and tried to grab at it…which naturally caused a brilliant chain-reaction that pretty much cleared everything right on off your desk.
It’s like my procrastination took physical form and barfed all over my bedroom floor! Awesome!
For my next trick, perhaps I should go cook something! Maybe I could put a Tupperware into the oven, forget all about it and turn the oven on to 450! Or I could try to use the timer on the microwave but hit “start” instead of “timer” so that it can just run empty for ten minutes! Righteous!
It would probably be better if I just went quietly to bed, don’t you think? Yes. Quietly…gently…and without pausing to fix anything…I should go to…
…hang-on-a-second…why is there a towel ring on my desk? Where did this come from? Oh crap, one of the kids pulled it off the wall in their bathroom, didn’t they…sigh…FINE, let me just see if I’ve got a screwdriver in here somewhere…
In other news, a woman somehow electrocuted herself trying to find a screwdriver in an over-crowded drawer – apparently, multiple cell phone, digital camera, iPod and other small electronics chargers, NONE of which belonged in that drawer to begin with, were involved. Film at eleven!
C. E. Montague
1 day ago