Friday, April 03, 2009

Oh Friday, you tease!

Ya know…we always say thank God it’s Friday, right?

Why are we so thankful for Friday? Because people? Friday is still a work day for most of us, JUST SAYIN’

Except that apparently some people actually don’t work on Friday. I imagine they spend the whole day wandering around the office saying, “Thank God it’s Friday, huh?!” to all their coworkers or something. What they do not do is respond to emails from me.

Which means that I spend most of the day just sitting around waiting for Monday, when they will actually be back at their desk again.

Furthermore, today is apparently Traffic Laws Are Optional Day, and as usual I did not get the freakin’ memo. I have never seen so many people ignoring stop signs, stop lights, yields and ‘no left turn’ signs complete with CVC code in red, so you KNOW it is official in one morning.

I’m afraid to go forth and run my too-many errands this afternoon. I have no idea what the actual laws are, today. I mean, generally speaking, a red light means stop and a green one means go, but apparently today a red light means go straight through the intersection and honk angrily at the stupid people who think ‘green’ means ‘go’, while a green one means stay where you are in case someone wants to use the RED light as their go-signal today.

It makes me pissy, not knowing about these Traffic Laws Are Optional Days. Think of all the time I could have saved, if I’d just known that I didn’t have to stop for red lights today!!

You know why else I’m pissy today? (No, Tama, please do bore us all to tears with the endless cataloging of why you are pissy today!) (OK, I will!) I am also pissy today because of something I like to call wee hours stupidity.

SEE, I woke up about whackity-majillion times last night because of my sinuses. Not only were they backed up, but they were creating one of those sinus headache situations and furthermore the sore-dry-throat syndrome because I was snoring away through my mouth due to my sinuses being a No Through Traffic zone.

The nasal spray that would have caused at least most of this to cease was, eh, fifteen feet from my bed.

I woke up a midnight and thought eeeehhhhhh…sinuses…owies…spray would be good…make pain stop…bathroom…right dere…cabinet, top shelf, all the way to the left… (see? I even knew precisely where it was! wouldn’t even need to turn on the @*^&@ing light!)

But I did not get up because it was the middle of the night and I didn’t wanna.

I didn’t wanna at 12:15, or 12:45, or 1:30, or 1:45, or 2:15, or…you get the idea.

This morning, as I nursed a pounding sinuses headache and the kind of all-over malaise one tends to have when one has spent the entire night fighting the notion of getting out of bed to squirt relief into one’s pounding sinuses, it occurred to me how foolish this really was.

Yea verily (I said unto mine self), if thou hadst gotten thy lazy carcass forth from thine bed at yon midnight, behold! (Said I, still unto mine self!)Thou wouldst not be a cranky-arsed fuss-pot right now!

And then me told I to shut the @*^&@ up because I was really pissing me off.

But isn’t it funny that something so bleedin’ obvious now was…fuzzy…at 2:00 a.m.? You’d think this is the kind of logic that would be insensitive to what time it was, that pain relief would seem like an excellent plan no matter how tired you were, or how warm the bed was, or how far fifteen feet seemed at that precise moment.

But no. At Wicked O’Clock, my bed was too warm, my bathroom too far away, I was too tired, and furthermore I was pretty sure this was going to be the last time I woke up tonight so why bother.

Which brings me to right now, when I still have a headache. Yea verily, it is Allergy Season, huzzah! The flowers are blooming, the trees are shedding, the grasses are drying…and my sinuses are exploding. Like fireworks! Only inside my brain!

HUZZAH!!!!!

I’m actually a little afraid to blow my nose, because I have the sneaking suspicion that if I do, my brains are going to come shooting out of there. Which I think would be bad. Although maybe I could grow a better one?...hmm…

Anyway. I have taken my once-daily allergy medication (which generally takes a few days to really start working).

I have taken my emergency-symptoms allergy medication (which generally takes a half hour or so to start working, but not today!) (and which also I arguably should not be layering over the top of the once-daily version but I. Am. Desperate.)

I have taken Excedrin. Which, obviously, is likewise not working.

Meanwhile, the aforementioned Real World keeps turning, and I am expected to get Certain Deeds Done today.

But I do not wish to go into the Out, where there be pollens.

Which is why I’m sitting here boring you half to death with my endless rambling-whining, instead of getting out there and getting my stupid errands run so that I can come back inside and return to sniveling about how much I hate Allergy Season.

And to cap off the Reasons This Friday In Particular Sucks…I kicked the cat this morning.

Well, not kicked-kicked, not like, I was pissy and mad at the world so I hauled off and abused an innocent creature who has never done me any wrong unless you count that time her claws snagged in my brand-new-to-me silk blouse and put a huge run in it.

It was more like, I ran back to the house, threw open the door and started dashing in because we realized Captain Adventure didn’t have his backpack and the bus was waiting and the cat tried to dart out as I was dashing in and her shoulder met my foot and, well, I kicked her right back into the house.

We were both quite stunned.

You see what kind of day this is?

So again…remind me…why are we sooooooo thankful for Fridays?

Because personally…I can’t wait for Saturday, when I don’t have to get up at Ungodly Hour, risk kicking the cat over an almost-forgotten backpack, battle the I-stop-for-nothing-and-turn-left-when-I-damned-well-please-civic-ordinance-or-no-civic-ordinance-ha-ha! Philistines at the school drop-off, deal with servers that aren’t working properly and clients who are too busy thanking their deity that it’s Friday to reply to me about said servers and whether or not they are going to be functioning again any time soon, run errands or any other fool thing.

Friday is just a tease. Saturday is the true-blue day.

…thank God it’s almost Saturday

10 comments:

Firegarnet said...

I keep my emergency meds either under my pillow (if I'm brewing a migraine) or in my bedside table (when I think I may need it because the signs are there, but am not positive and so it doesn't deserve pillow hiding). Then when storm blows over, meds return to normal locations.

Because of the many migraines and other payments I have paid for what you are going through.

My husband has also made me double promise to wake him if what I need is not in reach.

Renee said...

I am you minus the ability to medicate. Gah!

Siercia said...

God, I have totally done the stayed in bed even though the medicine was *right there* thing too.

Why on earth are we so foolish as a species?

natasha the exile on Mom Street said...

You made me laugh when you said your brains might come out your nose, because: I actually started calling my son "Booger Brains" when he had his first cold at about 6 months old, and well, it looked like his brains were leaking out.

The name stuck, and now that he is almost 3, I'm trying to break the habit. He told me, "it not nice Mommy!"

Oops.

Elizabeth L in Apex, NC said...

First of all, since when is anything rational at 2am? Seriously, if we could explain things to ourselves at that point, I'm sure nightmares would be a thing of the past.

As for the sinus-suckiness, been there, done that, hated every moment. My only additional recommendation would be fifteen minutes either in a very hot shower or head over a pot of steam. It really does help.

Here's hoping today is beautiful, pain-free and joyful!

Stacy said...

Wow. That's quite a day.

For your killer allergies, you could try doing a homemade sinus rinse each day before taking any up-the-nose sinus meds. I don't normally rinse my sinuses, but it works a treat at this time of year. The trick is to do it every day.

Hang in there!

RM Kahn said...

Zyrtec and a Neti-pot have done wonders for my sinuses this spring. I hope you feel better!

Anonymous said...

You think your allergies are making you miserable? Just wait until the cat decides to get even with you. You won't know when, where or see it coming...but she will get her revenge!!!!

emjed said...

try a liquid ioniser in your bedroom and you'll wake without your sinus problems, whether its bed dust mite or pollen that's affecting you

Science PhD Mom said...

I am another of those who keep the saline rinse on my bedside table. I am just too lazy to leave the warm cocoon of my bed. I hope your allergy meds have kicked in now!