Monday, March 10, 2008

Resist…resist…resist…

I am lusting after new yarn.

I don’t care what yarn.

I’m just in the mood to buy the stuff.

People. I think I need some kind of 12-step program.

Let.
Us.
Review.

I have way more than enough yarn. I have boxes of it. Baskets of it. Shelves stuffed with it. Drawers packed with it. I have a major project on the needles right immediately now. I have a beautiful sock in my purse. I have cotton, wool, acrylic, alpaca, just about everything except cashmere. (Hmm, that is a serious hole…perhaps I should…no! no! resisting…resisting…)

I even have some mohair.

I have lace-weight. I have worsted. I have bulky! I have my very own homespun, which looks like complete ass has the most striking and also unique characteristics!

SABLE? People, I am beyond SABLE. Stash Acquisition Beyond Great-Grand-Children’s Life Expectancy, that’s what I have over here.

Please. Please.

Somebody must tell me: How can I put up a firewall between me and Webs, KnitPicks, Rabbitch’s place (I even have a skein of deliciousness sitting beside my knitting chair, where I can fondle it and promise great things once I have finished the Claudia Circus socks), AND WORST OF ALL, eBay!?

eBay…with its tempty auctions of HUGE LOTS MIXED YARN…

I am so low sunk that…oh Lord, the shame…well. It was like this. I was cleaning out my minivan? And I found a receipt? From the D&D store? Where my Husband went this weekend, to pick up some miniatures?

And he had spent $120 of his own allowance money on miniatures to paint?

And…I immediately thought…

Wow…that’s, like, a whole sweater’s worth…

And then I started thinking it would only be right that I head over to the LYS to see what I might be able to get with my $100 allowance (which has actually built up to almost $1,000 on account of because I have been that holy for that long).

Because, you know.

HE spent $120 on HIS hobby.

Ergo, ipso-facto…well.

I think I need professional help, is what I’m saying.

I have no room for more yarn.

I have no need for more yarn.

What I need to do is quit @*^&@ing blogging about yarn-lust and go make something with yarn, thus opening up more room for yarn in my bedroom.

Yes.

That seems like a sound plan.

And I will do that.

Right after I check out just one more LARGE MIXED LOT ASSORTED YARN NICE!!! auction…

(GodHaveMercyOnMeASinner, I just remembered I have forty skeins of light and dark blue and gray Red Heart under my bed…) (I remembered this because I was looking at a lot of forty skeins of assorted Red Heart and thought, Oooooh, I could make a cool afghan out of that!)

10 comments:

Siercia said...

n the absence of a 12 step program for yarn, I could suggest a Firefox add-on called Leechblock (see here:https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/4476)

You can program it to block you from certain sites. It was written in the mind of being more productive at work, but it would work for this too.

You can disable it when you really really want to, but those few extra steps might help you find that willpower.

Siercia said...

Shoot, I think it ate my URL. Try this:

http://tinyurl.com/34xxad

=Tamar said...

The first step is admitting you have a problem, and you've done that. Hooray for you! I suggest you make a written list - a spreadsheet, even - of all your yarn, not only what it is but where it is stored/hidden. Then knit from stash. If you have yarn that you no longer love, find knitters who knit for a good cause, then you don't even have to do the knitting.

Rabbitch said...

I have cashmere ...

Just sayin'.

NeedleDancer said...

Okay.
Here's the deal.
First, you join Mission Possible 2008 (on Ravelry if you're there, or with me outside it if you're not). Then, you promise yourself the following:
1. I may only start anything new when I've completed one of the missions. (12 missions -- potentially 12 new projects).
2. I may only buy new yarn after each TWO completed missions. (12 missions, 6 yarn purchases). This reduces stash... and gets only projects out of the way.

No fair listing missions that involve yarn you do not own. Man you're slippery.

Olga said...

Ha ha- great post! I feel the same way- I buy and read all about knitting but do I actually sit and make something?Nooooo, that would cut into my reading blogs and buying more yarn for the all the patterns I KEEP on collecting!!!!

Marty52 said...

As far as I'm concerned, you've EARNED that yarn, so buy it! Scratch the itch and then move on. Good grief, you've saved almost $1,000 of your own allowance, woman! Besides, Rabbitch has cashmere. ;0)

Steph B said...

I'd be glad to help you reduce your stash...in the name of friendship and support and all that, you know. Really. For you I would do that. I could send you some loverly beads in trade....

Reluctant Blogger said...

TAMARIAN USES RED HEART?!?!?

Not always, naturally, but sometimes?

You don't know how happy this makes me. I tend to use the big skeins of acrylic myself (preferably on sale -- I can get a whole pound of yarn for $6!) and have this nagging sense of inadequacy about it.

But if Tamarian has forty skeins of Red Heart under the bed, then I can rest easy. :)

KrissyLou

HDW said...

OMG this post had me in absolute stitches (pun intended) Stop calling it stash and start calling it insulation and then it doesn't seem so wrong. I know exactly what you are saying though OMG do I know. Sometimes you have to give into the itch.....