Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Yet another time-wasting quiz

You want to see the ugliest yarn in the world? Check it out. Here it is. Believe it or not, I knitted a little dress for Eldest out of this stuff, when she was only two years old and couldn’t defend herself against such affronts to her dignity.

Dear God.

Ugliest. Dress. Ever.

I have no pictures of her wearing the final product because, praise the Great Mother, I came to my senses when I saw the finished product, realized it was ugly beyond all reason and donated it. It’s probably still in the bottom of a missionary barrel somewhere in Nigeria. Note of irony: I have no pictures of Eldest wearing this dress - yet I was knitting it while everybody else in the room was doing Creative Memories stuff. Typical, isn't it? Normal mothers take pictures to remember things, what do I do? "Oh yeah, I remember that trip to Florida, I was knitting up that ugly little green dress with the putrid yellow and vomitous orange splotches...let's see, I used these #2 needles and as I recall it was all one piece to the underarms and then went to a faux-smocking at the bodice..."

I have only one defense, and it is a pitiful one: the yarn was on sale. It was very nice yarn, quality-wise, and it was on sale for 75% off. Can’t imagine why…{rolls eyes}

But that's not what brought up this post. What brought is up is the result of an online quiz, of which there must be at least sixteen zillion at this point:

You are Mohair
You are Mohair.
You are a warm and fuzzy type who works well with
others, doing your share without being too
weighty. You can be stubborn and absolutely
refuse to change your position once it is set,
but that's okay since you are good at covering
up your mistakes.

What kind of yarn are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Mohair?! Oh, man! It is second on my list of ‘ugh’ yarns to knit with, right after ‘fuzzy novelty yarns that wear like sandpaper but look cool’.

Don’t get me wrong, I love mohair. It’s a marvelous choice for those lighter-than-air shawls designed to be worn to the opera in San Francisco on frosty autumn evenings over your sleeve-impaired gown. A garment that looks like nothing more than a cobweb can be warmer than that big old woolen jacket your SO is sporting in his oh-so-manly way.

But to knit with? Oh, ack. It sticks, it slips, and if you make a mistake, well, learn to love it because it is not going to come out quietly. Give me a nice feathery cashmere any day. Same warmth, same lightness, less uber-stubborn-sticky-ness.

But no. I'm not chic enough to rate cashmere. I get mohair. Sticky-slippy-stubborn mohair.

Oh well. It could be worse. I could have ended up as one of those feathery novelty yarns that are hell on earth to knit with and produce things that can't be worn against the skin without removing most of it...


Stephanie said...

You could have been dishcloth cotton. In other words, boring.

PipneyJane said...

Yeah, me too. I'm Dishcloth Cotton. << sigh >> How disappointing! I wanted to be cashmere - all luxury and love.

- Pam