Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Ok, so teething is just not fun, pretty much ever. But this is double-plus-not-fun.

Bacon Bit was pulling up on my leg while I was working at the kitchen table.

And then he fell.


Into the table leg.

When I picked him up, he was bleeding like crazy. I mean, it was gushing out of his mouth. AAH! AAH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

So I applied a little first aid and a lot of cuddling and the bleeding stopped and he settled down to a case of hiccups and whimpering.

Then I took a peek in his little mouth.

Whaddya know. The tooth that was nothing but a white bud this morning is now poking well out of his ripped-up gum. He must have fallen just exactly on top of that tooth, pounding it through his gum like a razor.

Damn, that just had to hurt like hell.

Infant Motrin and frozen biting toy have been given, and sympathy will be extended all day.

And now that the crisis is over, I have just noticed that my t-shirt has a lovely wash of bloody spit all over the left shoulder. Swell. Bets that it won’t come out, even though I’m taking it off right immediately now and putting it into the washer, anyone…?

*sigh* That’s two t-shirts ruined for wearing out of the house in one week – and it’s only Tuesday!!! (Yesterday, it was chocolate – I gave Bacon Bit a chocolate chip cookie, and he stored up a bunch of chocolate in his cheeks or something to urp all over my shoulder, and I didn’t notice it until it had set like steel into the {ahem} WHITE t-shirt.)

I'm just not cut out for this line of work. I'm not. People who are stupid enough, after SEVEN YEARS of experience, to wear a white shirt around children ought to be fired. Also, people who get so emotional over things like bloody mouths and infant pain that they get all damp in the eyeball area are obviously not psychologically well-suited to such work. Not to mention the inability to multitask well enough to simultaneously comfort the baby, cook breakfast for the other two and spell words like "Wishing well", "sport bottle" and "singing" - all of which have been requested by a kid who can't even write the letters yet anyway, so what the HELL is the point?

There! Right there!! A woman who gets mad at a five year old for pretending to write because it's irritating her while she's trying to simultaneously comfort an infant and cook eggs to order? Bad mother! Bad mother!!

Somebody, please: fire me. For the sake of the children.


mapletree7 said...

I am curious (as one of four children) why you decided to have 4 yourself. And what was the chaos escalation with each new addition?

Myownigloo said...

OK. You're fired.

Now get back to work.

(Any chance you can get someone to help you out for a few hours a day or even a week so you can get some peace? For the children's sake.)